Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
