it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
