Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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