She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
