"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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