His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
