At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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