On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
