WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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