College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Rumble strips road head = magical
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
