I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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