the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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