dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
