i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
