My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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