BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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