Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
