If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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