mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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