I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
