Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize