yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
