I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
