i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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