I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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