She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The uberlube is also flammable
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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