it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize