Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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