My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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