Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
