there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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