Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
