I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
