But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
