Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
