So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
