my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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