i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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