First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
