Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The adults are the big ones right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize