.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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