she was so not down for the gang bang
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
