I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
