cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
where are you?
Hypothermia
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
