thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
