Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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