Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
