I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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