He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
