Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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