bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I forget how to act sober
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