there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
