you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
