ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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