She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
