Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
