Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
