I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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