I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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