That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
