Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
