Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize