If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
PANTIES FOUND
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
