I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
