I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize