I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
