guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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